May it please the court.
Theydies and gentlethem of the jury, my name is "Maeby" and I am here today representing the Defense in the matter of "The People vs. Myself." Unconventional, maybe, but the way it's gotta be. Now I have a question, and stop me if you have heard it before:
Q: "How many lawyers does it take to change a lightbulp?"
- A: How many can you afford?
Objection, Hearsay!
That's why we're here today, isn't it? A whole lotta hearsay. Black's Law Dictionary defines hearsay as "A term applied to that species of testimony given by a witness whorelates, not what he knows personally, but what others have told him, or what he hasheard said by others ... hearsay evidence is that which does not derive its value solely from the credit of the witness, but rests mainly on the veracity and competency of other persons. The very nature of the evidence shows its weakness, and it is admitted only in specified casesfrom necessity..." Quit it with the legalese, you beg and plead! Just get to the fucking point!
In the simplest of terms I can muster:
- Who: My name is "Maeby."
- What: This is my bitch book, dearest diary, and gossip blog. I'll post the ramblings of a madman, waxings of a poet, and appeals of a convict on death row. (If you haven't noticed, people of the jury, I have a lot to say...)
- Where: Anonymous online, found on neocities.
- When: I have the time to. I'm a busy student, ya know.
- Why: Because law school, my dear reader, is so deeply asinine. The material is challenging and profession worthwhile, true, but the people I have met here give middle schoolers a run for their money by way of maturity. The cliqueiness and gossip are so beyond stupid they need a new word for it. I mean this as lovingly as possible, but sometimes it feels like I'm losing my mind. So here I am, screaming into a void, the trials and tribulations of one surrounded by bozos, little more than a clown herself.
The Defense rests her case.